There this one video na nagcicirculate sa facebook about a girl saying na she wants to have a boyfriend but everytime a guy wants to date her, she pushes them away. Then there this guy na nagaadvice na, “if you want him and he wants you say yes already”
GIRL. Trust me. It will never work out. It won’t. And you’re making a big mistake if you do that. You’re also saying yes to pain.
Let me tell you why…
I’ve been there. Yes… There this guy na sobrang upfront sa feelings nya sakin but since may standards nga ako, syempre inuna ko yung principles ko. He wants to date me, at first ayoko pero in the end bumigay din ako.. we never even started out as friends. As in pinakilala lang siya sakin ng friend ko. So, wala akong enough foundation sa kung ano man ang mayroon sa amin.
Though… He’s a nice guy naman, he came from a rich family, he has a nice car, he has his own house already (sponsored by his parents), he’s still studying sa magandang university, he’s a gentleman. In short, IDEAL GUY NA NGA.
BUT! Don’t get me wrong.. okay? I didn’t go out with him just because he’s filthy rich or what… I dated him cause along the way, nagustuhan ko na rin siya dahi sa ugali niya. Kahit may standards ako, some of my friends are telling me to go out with that guy. Kasi they believe na super bait din nung guy. So, eventually, I dated him. Then hanggang naging mutual yung feelings. I even told him I’m not ready yet to have a boyfriend. Pero ang ending, since the world is telling me the same thing na “if you want him then he wants you, say yes already. forget your standards”.
And so I did. I said yes.
He’s okay naman throughout the relationship.. Sweet. Maeffort. Mabait. Gentleman.
BUT. After three weeks, we broke up. Due to our differences. And basically dahil na rin sa hindi ko pa siya masyadong kilala. Plus the issues pa sa life niya. Basta, it was a mess.
What did gain after? H E A R T B R E A K.
You know girls, when you fall for a guy, you give them the power to break you and your heart. And that’s what happened. Dahil sa walang enough foundation yung relationship namin, dahil sa sinagot ko siya agad.. we lost it. I think March kami nagstart magdate and April ko siya sinagot. But because the world is telling me na makikilala ko din naman siya during sa relationship namin. What happened after? I cried. I was so depressed. It was painful even though hindi nagtagal because just like some other girls, when we have a boyfriend we want them to be in our future too, right?
NOW. Girls, this is based on my experience and I want you to atleast learn from it. Yes, 2017 na. Halos lahat ng babae may boyfriend na, naglolook forward ka sa #relationshipgoals or kasi gusto mong kiligin or what. But that doesn’t mean na dahil masyado nang millennial ang mga tao ay hahayaan mo na rin yung sarili mo na sumunod sa agos. I may loved the guy but the pain has caused me enough to think about my value. Same goes with you, you may like the guy but that doesn’t mean hindi mo na kailangan magstick sa standards mo. STICK TO YOUR STANDARDS.
I remember our pastor, sabi nya sa amin na i-keep yung standards namin pagdating sa guy and let the guy reach it. Kasi the more na binababa mo ang standards mo, the more na nababawasan rin ang value mo. DON’T COMPROMISE. If the guy who likes you wasn’t able to reach your standards, it’s fine. There is someone out there na ibibigay sayo ng Lord.
When I met this guy, nakastick ako sa standards ko.. but when I started to like him, nababawasan ng nababawasan ang standards ko, natuto akong magcompromise sa sarili ko because I chased him pa nga after the break up.. Yes, he is a good guy. But that doesn’t mean he’s good for me too. And ayon, when we broke up doon lang nagsink in sa akin lahat. I broke my own rules for him. I was the one who devalued myself dahil lang sa tingin ko na world has so many things to offer. Hindi ko narealize na kapag naghintay ako, MAS MARAMI PANG OFFER SA AKIN ANG LORD.
You should establish a friendship. Kasi doon mo makikilala ang isang tao. Mas maganda yung pareho kayong may foundation sa isa’t isa. Makikilala mo kung anong klaseng lalaki siya, malalaman mo yung mindset niya. Ganon din yung sayo. Parehas nyong inaalam kung okay ba kayo. Pero kung hindi, eh di atleast you guys will remain friends. Di ba? Hindi yung nagmamadali ka kasi feeling mo wala ng ibang dadating sayo. Marami pa diyan, you just have to wait. Babae ka, you are meant to be chased.
Sabi nga sa bible, “guard your heart for it is the wellspring of your life”
Make yourself pure. Hayaan mo na maggrow yung sarili mo sa iba’t ibang bagay. You don’t chase love, you attract it. Ang pangit kasing tingnan kung sige ka lang ng sige, yes ka lang ng yes.. tapos hindi mo alam damaged na damaged na pala yung puso mo kasi ilang pain na ang nakukuha mo sa pagmamadali mo. Ang dami dami ng pain na nadudulot sayo ng pagmamadali mo kaya bumababa na rin yung standards mo. Yung bang sasabihin mo na lang na “sige na, okay na yan, kesa naman wala”… Very wrong sissy.
It’s okay if sometimes you push them away. Normal yan. It’s because you’re scared. But remember, kung sino yung mga nagstay sila yung mga worth it.
Don’t forget to keep your standards, someone will do their best to reach it. Don’t be so easy. Wait until your heart is ready.
There is a right time for everything. DON’T COMPROMISE.