THIS IS HOW I SURVIVED.
Heartbreaks are awful, I know. It was like, one day, you’re happy planning for your future together, then suddenly it was all gone. Being lied to, being cheated on, leaving me with no valid reason. Name it. Sweet girl, been there. Done that.
It sucks especially when all you wanted was something that never fails.. something that stays despite all the circumstances in life. Right?
But how did I survive this chaos?
To be honest, this isn’t a “one-step solution”, I guess this is more like a “one step at a time” process. Here’s the thing, when you invest too much on someone and they end up leaving you, what do you do? Nobody said it was easy. You have to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. It’s like you’re physically living but emotionally you’re dying. And that’s when reality hits you that nothing in life is permanent…. Then and there I stopped being alive.
Kicking him out of my system was so impossible for me on set because I keep dwelling on the possibility of us, getting back together. So.. I cried my heart out. Screamed at the top of my lungs just to let it all out and then wrote all the things I wanted to say to him and keep it..
Everyday.. I have to wake up and be alive. I go to work and then pretend that I was totally okay with it. Dealing with break ups are hard especially when you just want to get over it right away.. It even took me a lot of effort.
I was in a cycle wherein I love, then they leave, then I’d move on with my life, and then start again… Dude, I’ve been doing the same things over and over… So I asked myself, was it me? Or was it just the situation? I don’t really know.
During those days, I’ve come to learn one thing… and that is to survive. In life, we will encounter so many challenges, mainly to break us down but what we don’t realize is that, those challenges are meant for us to grow, to learn and mostly, to rebuild ourselves.
I choose to live though. It was never easy because you have to fight every single day. I’ve come to realize that by the end of the day, the only person who can save you is yourself. If you choose to stay broken, you’ll definitely be miserable but if you choose to stay alive and be brave, you’ll be happy. So what would you choose?
It’s okay if it didn’t work out. There’s a reason behind that. Life is full of chances. When you wake up every morning… that is God saying, “Hey get up! It’s another day!”.
For me, surviving from something you thought you wouldn’t is something to be proud of. Whether it’s a break up or overcoming the challenges in life. Surviving means having a new beginning. So please don’t be afraid to start and begin again.
Begin to love again. No, not him or not those other guys out there. But begin to love yourself more, to accept all the what is, to begin accepting all your lapses and flaws. Begin because you deserve new beginnings.
Well, honestly, I’m glad I survived. It took me a lot of time but that’s fine. So take heart and take your time. It’s okay not to be okay. You don’t have to be brave all the time, sweet girl. Choose happiness. Choose yourself.
And finally, thank you. I am where I am right now if it wasn’t for the experience I had.. I know I lost you but I found myself and somehow….that was everything. So, thank you… God bless you 😊