I’ve seen a lot of posts lately about “the one that got away” / “totga” who actually appears to be as THE ONE to many people.
THE ONE WE THOUGHT WAS PERFECT
the one who gave us countless butterflies in our stomach
the one we fantasized our future with
the one who surpassed all the standards we set for someone (in short, the one we thought was better than anyone else)
the one we hold onto thinking that one day it will be worth another shot
our “what ifs”, “should’ves” and “could’ves”
YES, THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY.
they may be rich
they may be good looking
they may be matured enough and stable for you
they may be the best for you
was it okay to wait for him?
what if we give it another try?
why didn’t I realize that when we still have it?
we romanticize him/her because we’re only seeing the good part of them… the effort, the late night trips, the 3am realest conversation, the goody good personality, the surprises.. etc…. we keep on holding on to those ideas thinking only the good sides of it without realizing WHY THINGS DIDN’T WORK OUT. (was it the bad timing? was it me? was it them? was it because we weren’t ready yet?) you keep on thinking about the good part of it because thinking about why it didn’t work out is more painful, right?
but the truth is, HE/SHE GOT AWAY FOR A REASON. HE/SHE WAS NEVER HERE TO STAY.
another hurtful truth is that, they are never going to be “the one”.. cause if they are, they should stay. they wouldn’t be “the one who got away”. they should be the one who stayed. they shouldn’t be in your past BECAUSE they should be in your “NOW“. whether the timing was right or not, whether you made a mistake or he did, whether it’s your fault, whether they fought for you or not, they still got away.
i love this statement from thoughtcatalog which i wanna share with you…
“The one that is worth it is the one that stays; the one that you hold on to. The one that is worth it is the one that is worth fighting for and the one that thinks you are worth fighting for.
Let yourself remember the one that got away, let yourself think about him. But understand that you don’t need to delve back into the past – you don’t need to try to do it all over again. He got away for a reason. You don’t need to pine for him or wait for him to come around again. He got away because he isn’t your forever boy.”
so let go of all the regrets
let go of the thought that maybe he was the one for you
let go of all the questions in your head
let go of the idea that you can give it another shot
let go of the one who got away
let go of the WHAT IFS and focus on the WHAT IS
LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO HOLD ON TO SOMETHING/SOMEONE WHO ALREADY GOT AWAY.
Instead, focus onto something/someone that STAYS..
you deserve someone who you can picture yourself in the future with, someone who will never let go and SOMEONE WHO STAYS.
wait for it.
DO NOT SETTLE.
- Bea Nuguid 🌸